We Crave the Beauty :: of being advocate in woman empowerment in resistance, solidarity, and complex
*Beauty as the Soul's means of Affirming the Celebration
of its true relationship to Life, I & II.
i have heard it said that...
"true resistance (to darkness) can be reached only by
(connecting to the energy behind) the action of UPLIFTING."
"there is much more to life than meets the eye -
surely that is a given.
now if we are to be truly Alive : we must abide by the mystery and grandeur of Life.
see it not through a haze but, sharply
and with clear, open insight."
everywhere you look (and i mean the truly contemplative seeing • /that penetrative gaze\• on
the life that surrounds you)
it is simple to hear one organic message spun throughout -
a singularly constant, persistent call ringing loudly.
and that is that everything is one joyous play.
our wondrous dance.
the sensuous celebration of the senses.
movement is rhthym; Nature's beats are infectious;
and the feeling infected both within (ourselves) and
(in the world with)out is one of Total Exuberance.
but why and how, exactly, did our communion with
and Soul connection to life -
an obviously awesome and natural realization|recognition -
come to be viewed by most as mythic fairy story?
something bright, shining and far away
in its unattainablility and irreality...
these days iterated as a uselessly forced positivism
and the faux chin-up spiritual quotations
befitting of the most trite of greeting cards.
our soul's journey and communion with life
felt as fable from the dark esoteric annals
of humankind's mysterious and sprawling past.
"our world feels achingly to be one in which, the limp feeling of complacency and non- enthusiasm grips tightly..."
a world tripping along__dazed, pathologically confused,
and unrelentless in its chasing of shadow.
for countless centuries the (in)actions of our collective human societies have managed to create in the heart
of the human a staggering antipathy.
a literal inability to feel and to relate oneself
authentically in light of that feeling.
the common ego posture of being someone who does not truly care about life, except for what one can wrench from it,
seems to be the staunch stance of the general populace.
our world feels achingly to be one in which, the limp feeling
of complacency and non-enthusiasm grips tightly the average mind. Constricting the movement, the very beat
of which is the organic flow of our innermost Be-ing.
do you notice how people rarely make expressive
faces? neither as response nor as a way to initiate communication. do you?
when was the last time you glimpsed raised eyebrows_ oh, how i miss the coyly raised eyebrow!
and those (now vintage) comedic facial signs -
all from a bygone era of human rapport.
remember it...? that of a man expressing doubt,
anger, or delight.
taking care to keep her voice flat and monotone -
sickeningly noncomittal, a woman usually expresses herself with as little energy or verve as possible.
afraid even to shine the smallest fraction of the light
of her being out into the atmosphere.
no wonder the comedian has taken center stage,
the favorite obsessive fascination of the people
for the last few decades.
they are our court jesters, social clowns, idiot savants. playing as puppets-in-trance they channel the unheard
voice within. representing through "wit" and "irony"
that physical presence of emotions and words
that we dare not utter. dare not acknowledge in ourselves.
nor as our own.
an imbalance of sense and response;
too much, too little, and always too late
i was actually chided • accused not long ago by a "friend."
we were talking of some "sensitive" issue or other.
and instead of hearing the energy behind my words
and taking into sensible account of what she knew
and had experienced of me as a person...
(in a most unnecessary and combative fashion)
she insisted that a look on my face was "judgemental"
a tone of my voice "unfeeling,"
and in her estimation : cruel.
harsh.
and yet i can say and know fully well
that from the depths of my own being
the energy of cruelty was nowhere lurking in my heart
nor mind as i shared my point of view with her then.
my expression full of clarity and sincerity -
only seeking communion through our
shared (and heard) words and thoughts.
and her reaction__a simple matter of her own opinion
hastily enforced upon me and emphatically
deemed as fact; not just as consequence of her own
twisted thought processes and signals.
and in that energy our chance at soul meeting
at the universe rising to meet itself__dashed to pieces.
(and despite my further explanation and attempts at bringing more understanding in that moment -
still condemned, judged, sentenced, persecuted,
and written off all in one breath was i)
some friend.
(i shall choose more wisely next time!)
so i understand a person's desire to not
"appear to be" :fill in the blank:
(an emotionally maligning critical word here)
...to whomever it is they are speaking with.
in order to not provoke anyone's dark ego rumblings -
for the attacks from warped psyches come unexpectedly
from all sides, we must protect our self.
so we close our mouths and kneading with fretful
paranoid fingers the glorious spontaneity of our thoughts and comments. censor our feelings - the upsurgings of heart and soul.
profess ignorance and naivety when affronted.
for we are not saved from the negativity of others
by those others, who in failing to keep themselves
in check are implicit in helping to create dense and deathly dull environments of fear and hesitation.
the inability of the one to truly see or
hear where the other is coming from or of even
giving another the chance to express their own inner states
in whatever moments they are transversing...
without retaliation and without attack
is a loathsome slip, a turn backwards to the animal
state of man.
"...because the psyche is so infinitely interesting"
cave(wo)man arts -
and what are these little ones wondering about -
what do they see? a part of the overarching Mystery they seem calm and
at ease with not even knowing for themselves of what they ponder.
oh, how we miss the less "intellectually active I precise" states of Cave Man mind
when a question (?) or "non knowingness" of mind
transforms itself into Miracle and satiating Soul Succor
where the "benefit of doubt" is given as gift to all involved -
that space of quiet and compassion upheld
and adhered to. there is love.
where innocent doubt is practiced and known as a
responsibility in justness, an action for the nobility
of your being...
it reveals itself as the truest of benefits.
a ready *blessing in times where one is all
too easily killed by the public's frivolous opinion
endangered we are by the over-reactions and
ill-conceptions of the unchanneled passions of humanity
and what makes one lacking of that blessed
state of benefit and nobility -
one's own unobserved and ignored tendencies within.
when those unchanneled passions are left to their
own devices without your proper attention,
guidance or care - they do take over.
imprisioning all with no regard
as to the destruction and havoc it wreaks on its
host (YOU) nor on its environs (earth and other - human
animal, and plant).
(why a person himself would not examine his own
inner dialogues is bewildering to me.
_because the psyche is so infinitely interesting_
but most are never able to see such an effort as indispensable to the very survival of their being
and of their heart within...)
not to mention the cold fact that if you avoid
critically examining your self you have no right
nor actual ability in critically examining another.
let alone of condemning another...
so in casting a sharp and penetrating eye over one's own
reflection__one might experiment with self development by;
critically analyzing one's own reactions to the world
putting attention on the things that cause one to react
seeing one's own role in this play along with the parts of those played around them
becoming more responsive and less reactive in life situations, pausing to gently allow for a genuine response to arise from deep within
asking internally always probing ever alert as to the whys behind familiar assumptions, behaviors, and habits
engaging with healthy doubt knowing that you do not know, yet acting in a sincere manner to find out about oneself - it's all so key
without investing moments in life and the action of
the heart in some of the experiments
above, that little and profound Death, administered by the crtical and judging person, will continue to further silence
our voice and our dreaming hearts.
the deroding effects of exclusion (judgement)
and separation (criticism) imprison the heart from
genuine and joyous expression.
without these sweet elements rising
naturally from within us, we become and are
more and more like the mime (robot).
bitterly performing on the streets our dead fish act
forever set on auto-pilot as we blindly weave e
around us the web of despair and degredation.
expression as a passion-forming necessity and of
glorious habit forming *Delight -
as the way of liberating your heart
i know how i was before finding genuine heartfelt expression from within. before finding the mettle -
the ovarios, to simply relax into the state of vibrance
i had discovered from within and on my own.
as everyone else, i was a trembling child
lost and never found -
forever needing and wanting approvals.
sad and despondent, not realizing why.
angry and ready to rip up things as
my mysterious feelings of frustration would build up
i yearned for a sense of belonging,
affirmations of positive acceptance from those around me...
a kindly and loving pat on the head at the least.
(but with the help of the "cruel" world outside)
i learned a hard lesson and never forgot nor let go
of the Essence of it.
i am responsible for my own state of feeling.
whether that be a high or lowly state. it is all me.
outside - the passing of forms
inside - my own passing of thought and the
feeling reflecting it all.
the mirror is mine. the perceptions are mine.
the misconceptions are also mine.
and that every other being is going through the
same reflecting of soul with as much or
as little awareness about the *Beauty of this Truth as
they have managed | been blessed enough to cull
all these millennia of existing...
...and so if it is solely up to me and within me -
then the going inside for that treasure of Me
my inner experience (of peace, joy, rightness,
individuality, calm, insight) was the only way
i wanted to Be in life.
the responsibility - my <<ability to respond to life
in such a way as to be creator|observer of my own experience of existence lead me instantly to Liberation.
this habit of a Liberated Heart allows me to:
• live in "foreign" parts of the world for extended periods of time. forming natural ties with those "outside" of what would normally be considered my native world-psychic environment
• regard the wholeness of life as an actual reality
• have a curious relating with this Reality. revering and
and constantly turning to the haven of the Background
of Being that we are so graciously given an opportunity to partake of
• indulge in intensity. really feeling, hearing, listening
enjoying, letting go, seeking, relishing, jumping, touching -
all things that i do and that can be done by me i do with
a definite intensity. eyes glimmering bright, a dangerous
fearlessness set deep into my bones...
• gracefully remove myself from people, places, and things that would harm me by causing my Soul to shink and disperse its store of energy and essence (soul is fragile and sensitive and needs to fiercely looked after in encountering life and the world. discernment is Vital)
• have the knack in knowing the superficial difference
between things. yet realizing inside the implicit and explicit nature of a seemingly dual life.
• take the deep dive in opening up to what i need to open to
and these experiences fuel my desire and love of life
which in turn causes me to sing dance draw create play
as a means to enjoy it more. as a way to add even more
Beauty to what i see. because i just can't help responding
to the shining light of my experience of life
so i am aware of what i speak when i say things about
passion-forming necessity or habit forming Delights...
to reach those states where just being ourselves is enough
where the moment that you take the time to look around the
at, to fully be aware of is the gift of all times.
and that again it is more than enough - what more could
you possibly need to ask for?
being given by Reality such a splendid
thing that is conciousness,
that is your life beating there in your heart...
what more...really?!
a new age of humankind they call it and yet, it feels just as stifled as dry as all the others
it is amazing all the new-age-speak going around
round and round in circles these days
"...you are an organic being, born of light
on a great mission
(i love how sadghuru soeaks of iur god given mission)
you are here to empower your sense of spirit
in being the individual that the universe is crying is
out for you to be..." or something to that extent.
generally it is said in this one camp that speaking
of passion (at least in an intellectual form, philosophically) is natural, normal.
who really wants to look overly long at the face in the mirror that is ravaged in pain, either grieving or cursing what they feel is a world gone mad. so for them this first camp is a godsend.
while the other opposing camp silently and loudly tells us...
"but remember children to keep your actual feeling
your own individual passion and expression,
that big bold bad turmoil of energies
churning within you quiet.
buttoned up, sublimated... better still!
forget or deny that they're even there.
and that's the way of our world that is what you must do"
in this camp one's sharp tongue and inner spitfire o
of soul is twisted tied down from outside.
our essence demonized, misunderstood, attacked, and ignored by humanity.
no wonder we seek to fall back to the level of a rock,
the plant, an animal or the baby.
how often do you hear someone moaning of how they wish they didn't have to live, and do, and decide,
and try, and act, or risk -
if only they could be a tree in the middle of the forest...
or build a tiny home and go live in the middle of that forest.
caught in the middle of what appears to be extremes
it feels like. the rock pushing, pushing from below -
the universe from above, the baby struggling out
from within and all sorts of psychic energies
rushing to get at us...
and all of us, every one of us stuck in the middle with...
pressures, tension, stress, and strain.
but may that be the esoteric "point"...?
so much of our time/history spent outside of that central axis of ourselves our own centers -
and now with all the forces around us conspiring to point us by direction and manipulation of energies to our very necessary hallowed, and inherent (true node)
point of orientation...
towards our very own private (yet linked up) centers
of universal involvement...
