we crave beauty :: pondering on-- Depth... that feeling that rings within where you are never able

defined as the distance that measures or as intensity, something extreme

i value that which is just beyond what one thinks one sees or what the mind thinks it feels

at first sight there seems to be only this flat dead surface with no meaning

as if in life we are thrown into the world and that world is a desert and it feels

as if we are fated to travel the course of this emptiness, this nothingness alone and

forever blind and unsure

where relevance or universal / personal importance is somehow missing

yet as you focus on your center within, the feeling of depth of a fullness

in the world without / outside of self makes sense, a sensation of knowing that makes itself

known to your sense-ings

when you allow yourself to feel into this reality of depth calmly and with quiet intent

and adding to this your love, the ability to reach out / within

and into the dark recesses of the Unknown

suddenly Life comes Alive opens up to You and brings you along with It

what you had before misinterpreted as a nothing turns out to be a brilliant vibrant Something

with a message to share a whole world to give to you, should you be accessible to It--

with an En-livening energy to bestow upon your heart, the feeling of purity

stimulating the heart to arrive at the peak of its energies

my earliest memories were of a strange feeling of chagrin

for i wanted to express big profound touching insights yet the only function my mouth could perform then was to gurgle spit up and curl itself into

laughter or ooze into a slow heart-touching bittersweet cry

that goofy look of "oh well, i guess the bigger energy i will never be able to grasp

and present to others" creeping onto my 9-month old face

later as i got into the general human communication

based solely on psychological lines way of life--

again that chagrin

i wanted to iterate a feeling an experience on how a certain moment and the smile

look of fear feeling of hate loss of boundary sense of joy need to howl

had welled up from deep inside me and what it meant and how it moved me

turning my world at an angle askew and off point, spinning off on its axis

leaving me empty wanting and needing the Ecstatic...

but how to get such *Depth of meaning feeling such grand experience of Soul

over to someone who has yet to feel such things refuses to go to such spaces inside

locks away their heart-mind our of fear anger guilt shame

at such a point as always words cannot serve here. and the depth at the foundation of Being cannot be summoned by words. a person must go down there on their own. i can light the way

speak words of encouragement from one along the Path, express my own journey having gone down that dark lonesome hallway, speaking on how such digging has effected my experience

but remember; unless you go your self towards that place of inner source of Essential center

the surface, the superficial, the empty junk is all you know and believe in

and you will go on missing

will believe that yes the world is flat ugly a wasteland

and that a person has no inner life / spirit

try to witness that Light and all the subtlety in Life--

those times when mystery descends and you find yourself wrapped in the feeling of...

something that causes a deep Buddha belly laugh from deep within

when the hidden becomes un.hidden and turned into a lived experience of YOU

the secret messages of the human heart are audible if you are tuned to its depths

the words are said and yet the things that are unsaid, the feelings that go un-emoted

the desires or fears that whiz by without one's conscious examination

unexpressed and left at the Eternal doorway of silence...

here the value of depth appears :: a chance and opportunity to see more in life

to understand and be in union with what is-- when you become a psychedelic Rainbow

showing playing with and acting on the many facets and sides of a very Stimulating Life

as one lights up there are far less and less occurrences of dissatisfaction anger bewilderment fear jealousy hopelessness rearing their dis-turbing dis-centering mad-dening

effects in your head and heart

think back through your own storehouse of memories...

when conversation / action has that narrow, lifeless sole dependence

(which debilitates heart / spirit) on word and logical thought

here something is sorely missed and a dimension closes off to all involved

the chance for union, for that bridge from one being to another being

that seed and fulfillment of Life is lost and never found

knowing and realizing can be had and delved into only by being--

the seen broken up and opened in growth...

and its miracle peered into and felt with and by a joyous heart

so it is a beautiful occasion indeed when lovers can say i love you

without uttering the words-- when their love is made seen in every moment

through their actions

when true feeling is powered up and moves traveling

from one heart to another the only place and time where we can

partake in a veritable sharing of spirit

imagine an Intelligent communication without the constant lockjaw of the mouth

when its violent action of empty movement, forever caught up, spewing forth

when the mouth can finally come to a halt a pause a much longed for and needed Stillness

and surely as heart is given reign to transmit messages in communication

mis-understanding becomes a thing of the past

(no more tower of babel moments of confusion and frustration!)

for heart feels it does not understand. it knows truth it does not find resonance in reason

and logic. does not conceive but knows the vibrations of life

so it cannot deceive nor mis-conceive

for me Depth is where heart becomes Soul-guide and North Star compass

when your life and reflection of it opens as the flood gates and levies break

walls come tumbling down and the inevitable Union

with God Source the All the Creative is the Reality you rouse yourself to

--that one becomes part of and from dreams you Awake

Rejuvenated, made whole and deeply